moving on...
A: E, I can't say that I have stopped thinking of you. Only two days ago I looked at your profile again. Things have changed for me once more--I am back in Wisconsin and by myself, seeing D. only once in a blue moon. I'm living with a guy that's somewhat older than me (44) and I suppose it's OK. I also suppose it would indeed be best for you to move on. You would have done so if you hadn't poured yourself into your work so much that you haven't had the chance to meet someone--this I believe. I still love you, but it's time for you to move on. Love, A
A: E...please let me know how you are? If I sounded cold in the last message, it was really because I dont wanna see you unhappy. Let me know. --A
E: when i first read your message, it took me a while to even start digesting it. im sorry, i was just sad to hear about you and D, and you having a relationship right now. although i am sure, having a relationship is good for you. i don't want you to feel that i am unhappy about that. in fact, it will be bettter if you have somebody with you.
E: thank you for being so honest. and thank you for still caring about me. i know our past has been quite a ride for both of us, especially for you. never has a day that i did not go through our chats (yeah, i printed them and keeping them with me for almost five years now) and emails before. i can still smile at our lighter moments (also the hot ones), and can't help but smudge myself into tears during THOSE days when you started throwing up. i can still remember how B and S might be feeling at that time when i started communicating with them about you.
E: i still love you, too. i always will. i didn't have the chance to go to NJ or SF this year because of my job. i can't start that scholarship i applied for in Stanford. i really wanted to see you. it's just a sad thing that one of the reasons that i am pursuing it might not be as happy as i thought it might. but i'll be more than happy just to see you, if ever i get through the strenuous application.
E: i am sorry, i had to start being so mushy again. i don't want you to feel any sadness or disappointment about me being unhappy (as you put it), but i'll be just fine.
E: i will move on, A. and just remember, i love you, and always will. please do keep in touch, if you can, just for old time's sake. maybe the brand new relationship between us as friends may help us both move on. thank you very much for everything.
posted by kurama minamino @ 5:18 PM
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